The Write Way.

If you want to sound like a knucklehead, the best thing to do is to mismatch your verbs and nouns. Here’s the rule from grammar police – plural nouns need plural verbs and singular nouns need singular verbs. There’s no option involved, and collective nouns are singular, not plural. I read junk every day – from authors or writers who claim to be experts – that have mismatched nouns and verbs.

Look

“The best ideas in the world is from writers and poets.”

What’s wrong?

The nound, ideas is plural. The person who wrote this sentence lost track of that fact when she put a descriptive phrase between the noun and the verb. So she chose to use a singular form of the verb, to be. She chose is. Had she re-read her sentences, chances are she would have found her own error and changed the verb form to are.

“The best ideas in the world are from writers and poets.”

Another example

Book titles is hard to come up with.

What’s wrong?

The subject of the sentence is not book, it’s titles. Titles is a plural noun (no, you cannot say titles are plural nouns). The verb has to be plural. Are. Book titles are…

A further complication

Some nouns may seem plural because they refer to a number of persons or things. Examples: everyone, herd, group.

Right: The herd was crossing the road. Wrong: The herd were crossing the road.

Or the noun may feel as though it refers to a number of things, but it actually requires a singular match. Examples: Each, no one, all, any, anybody, anyone, anything, neither, nobody, everybody, everyone, everything, either, no one, nothing, one, some, somebody, someone, something.

So verb/noun matches go like this: Everyone was in a circle. Wrong: Everyone were in a circle.

No one from that school were welcome here. Should be: No one from that school was welcome.

A tricky subject situation

If you say:

“His favorite food are apples,” you’re wrong even though you would say “Apples are his favorite food.”

The correct form is “His favorite food is apples.” Go figure.

Bottom line for nouns and verbs

Writers, hear this – most of your grammar and usage problems would disappear if you took time to read your work when you finish the first writing. Lots of not-so-capable writers, who profess to be polished, never read their own work. Ego gets in the way of credibility. For editors, the first reason to chuck a piece of work into the trash is grammar sloppiness.

I got a sales pitch from a young lady who saw herself as a slick blogger. She wanted to sell me on using her “guest posts” on my blog. Her goal was free publicity for her work and products. However, her sales email and her blog posts were stuffed full of mismatched verbs. I was a bit interested in her product, even her blog topics. But I couldn’t deal with the sloppy writing, so I hit delete.

If you want frequent examples of poor grammar – go read Twitter, Facebook, or the writing groups at LinkedIn. When you trudge through the amazingly bad construction, you may decide to mention to some of the writers that their work would be better after a proofing. They’ll often tell you, “OH, I proof the stuff I submit to editors, but I just don’t care here.”

Brilliant. A writer puts himself out there in a public forum – dangling lousy writing from every orifice. Hmm. He’s thinking editors don’t read forums?

You can read a thorough discussion of verb/noun agreement - or predicate/subject agreement from Hornbook.

Want more grammar police?

Top ten grammar gripes

Vocabulary lesson

Browsing Mediabistro’s industry newsletter, GalleyCat, I came upon some good news – there are still people hiring for job opportunities in the publishing world. The Bistro only talked about a few jobs, but it’s a start.

I’ll pass these on, with thanks to Mediabistro. It’s so frustrating to cruise the ‘Net for writing related jobs only to find the same bogus Criagslist junk reposted on every blog and Web site that caters to writers.

Mediabistro says, “For your resume-making pleasure, here are a the new postings. First, Cambridge University Press is looking for a Production Assistant, Journals. Bedford/St. Martin’s Editor seeks an Development Editor and Oxford University Press temporary Book Interior Designer.”

I’d sure like to hear from anyone who has found a good gig via Craig in the past two years.

Jerry Seinfeld’s wife Jessica Seinfeld published her first book a year or so ago and was promptly accused of copyright infringement and plagiarism by another writer, Missy Chase Lapine. Case went to federal court. Court decided Jessica did nothing wrong.

Jessica Seinfeld wrote a hip, timely cookbook showing moms how to incorporate healthy food into daily meals that kids could love. Evidently, so did Lapine. Copyrights and plagiarism accusations are never cut and dried or simple.

Ms. Seinfeld says she never read or saw Lapine’s book. The court has this to say, according to  MediaBistro report:

“The similarities identified by plaintiffs are the result of the similar medium of expression used (cookbooks) or of the similar subject matter that both cookbooks address (hiding healthy foods in kid-friendly books).” (Via Publishers Weekly)

The MediaBistro comments came in that site’s free newsletter, Galleycat, a good resource for book writers who want to keep up with industry patter.

Seinfeld’s book is Deceptively Delicious: Simple Secrets to Getting Your Kids Eating Good Food. She still has a defamation lawsuit pending against the other writer, but the federal court says it should be handled on a state level.

Here are links to both books at Amazon, if you’re interested: The Sneaky Chef: Simple Strategies for Hiding Healthy Foods in Kids’ Favorite Meals and Deceptively Delicious: Simple Secrets to Get Your Kids Eating Good Food

More about copyrights:

Three part series on copyrights

Elisabeth Hasselbeck sued for plagiarism

Writing romance novels for money seems like a dream, doesn’t it? Today’s guest writer, Marin Thomas tells you first-hand how to break in to the lucrative field of women’s fiction and romance writing.

Breaking In

By Marin Thomas, Harlequin American Romance Author

A few years ago, I spoke to a group of aspiring writers. I’ll always remember the looks of disbelief on their faces when I revealed how long it took me to sell my first manuscript–five years AFTER I made up mind to seriously pursue publication.

There are a few writers who can brag that they sold the very first book they wrote–but not many.  It takes time and practice to hone your writing skills, learn about story arcs and develop a writing “voice.”  If only mastering the craft guaranteed publication!

One of the keys to breaking in with a large publisher such as Harlequin, which markets books through various “lines”, is reading books from the line you wish to write for.  Study those books–plots, settings, characters, pacing, tone etc.  Make sure your book fits the line you intend to query and always follow the publisher’s submission guidelines.  You want to show you’re a savvy writer, not one who can’t follow instructions.

Harlequin is one of the few publishers that still accepts unagented submissions.  If you’re trying to get your book in front of a publisher that only accepts “agented” submissions, you’ll need to query agents first with your book. that  means researching literary agencies whose agents represent the type of book you’ve written.  If you’ve queried agents with no luck, attend a local writers’ conference and pitch your story to an editor or agent there.  There are writing organizations for all genres–search them out.

A professional writer’s organization is a great place to learn about the industry, about publishers, and to hook up with a critique partner if you want feedback on your work.  Many organizations sponsor writing contests in which the final judges are editors or agents, giving you another opportunity to get your work in front of the right people and to receive valuable feedback or a request to submit your entire book for consideration.

Even when you play by the rules — submit a clean, properly formatted book targeted to the right line, editor or agent — sometimes there are factors beyond your control.

• The editor/agent just broke up with their significant other. When she reads your submission, it gets tossed into the shredder because she hates everything and everyone that day.
• Keeping up with trends. You’ve written a vampire romance. By the time it works its way to the top of the slush pile, the publisher decides he’s published enough vampires stories and now wants ninjas from outer space.
• Sometimes it’s not the book you’ve written; it’s the fact that you’re an unknown.  Unless your book is the next “Oprah Pick” a publisher may not be willing to take a chance on you.  Maybe they don’t have the financial means to promote a new author/book.  They’d rather buy a so-so book from an established author with a solid sales numbers that they don’t have to spend advertising dollars on.

What you can control

Perseverance–a crucial trait a serious writer must possess if they expect to break in with a major publisher.  Keep in mind there are hundreds, if not thousands, of good writers submitting manuscripts to publishers/agents all over the world.  Many, if not the majority of writers stop submitting work after a few rejections.  Writing is tough on the ego.  If you want to see your book on the shelf of B&N or Borders, you can’t give up.  It’s as simple and as tough as that — don’t quit.  Keep writing, keep submitting. Keep learning the craft.  One day the stars will align and you’ll get the “call.”

Those years of perseverance pay off when your editor says, “We’d like to buy your book, but the books needs major revisions.”  That’s another blog for another day.

Let’s talk money — or not

There are the few and famous writers who not only support themselves on their writing income but probably several needy family members as well.  I am most definitely not one of those.  Most writers earn an advance. Depending on the publisher, it can be broken down into halves or thirds.  Half on signing and half on delivery of manuscript.  Or a third on signing, a third on delivery of the first three chapters, then a third on delivery of a revised manuscript. This process can take up to a year.

Most publishers send out royalty checks twice a year.  This is the money you get after your book “earns out” your advance.  Publishers don’t readily release all monies earned after the advance is paid back. They hold on to a good portion  until they know how many unsold books are returned.  It’s not unheard of for the author of a single title book to not earn out their advance and, therefore, never receive a royalty check.

So, if it takes forever to get published, and the money is no good — why keep writing?  For me it’s simple–I can’t NOT write.  Writing is a part of who I am.  Knowing I’ve given a reader a few hours of enjoyment, took her mind off her troubles, or inspired her to make a difference in others’ lives is worth more than the numbers on my paycheck.

Read about Marin’s books at her website. Her latest series for Harlequin American Romance is available through online retailers. The Cowboy and the Angel (Nov 08), A Cowboy’s Promise(April 09) and Samantha’s Cowboy (Aug 09)

Read more:

How not to use Brad Pitt in your headlines

Ten habits of successful writers